Fear not! I hear that the sector is suffering from Professional Paralyzed by Process Disorder (PPPD), and every time real revisions for the DSM come up it’s met with a chorus of “let’s table this.” It’s probably terminal.
I’m delighted you enjoyed it. The writing was glorious fun, and we are living in such a target rich environment for satire right now I sometimes wonder who is pranking who!
I think that while your original idea may have had some basis in a modern trend to diagnose regular behaviours as mental illnesses out of a desire to find what is “wrong with you” has basis in reality, I do not think that you are by any means intelligent or qualified to speak on the matter. The way that this is structured screams to me that you used AI to write it. I feel as though it is most likely you are someone who does not understand mental health beyond a few buzzwords, and thinks that despite never having understood any classes above a ninth grade level, that you have some greater understanding. You come across as smug and irritating. Or rather, you have made and AI convey your smug and bigoted opinions in its usual cold and detached manner. You gave Chat GBT those buzzwords, a few tired jokes making fun of “woke” culture, skimmed it, chuckled, and copy pasted it into Substack in hopes of conning people into thinking you’re witty. Am I on the mark?
Being able to see past what is essentially bullying layered with false intellectualism is a mental disorder now, apparently. You heard it here, folks, but you didn’t hear it from me. I can explain to you why I’m certain this is firstly, AI, and secondly, wildly idiotic.
I was trying to say it wasn’t funny. I literally said that this was the same few tired jokes poking fun at “woke” culture. It was an uninteresting, unintelligent form of humour based in the debasement of others.
It’s poking fun, very clearly, of people who overuse psych terms rather than the industry itself. Perhaps the industry is somewhat involved of the AI driven ramblings of this post, but in case you didn’t notice it also clearly took digs at trans people and people have legitimate mental health issues that have been sensationalised by the latest trends.
Inspired by a technique from the third wave of behavioral therapy centered on acceptance, I developed CAT (Cat Aversion Therapy), which helps patients suffering from FDD (Feline Deficiency Disorder) as well as the new DSM-6 personality disorders.
Progress is measured on a ten-point aversion scale, starting gently with a Garfield comic and escalating, for the truly resilient, to full sensory immersion at the predator house in Hellabrunn zoo. Younger clients respond particularly well to Simon's Cat, with peer-reviewed data showing a significant correlation between smile latency and prior cat-content consumption (for reference: British Feline Exposure Report 2023, Vol. IV: r = 0.73, p < 0.01; n = 7).
Should CAT (or, as I like to call it "mein Lebenswerk für die KaTS") fail to produce satisfactory results, a further course of treatment is recommended, beginning with DOG (Depth-Oriented Grounding) and followed by MOUSE (Mindful Observation Under Self-Evaluation). Although a four-stage study demonstrated the superior efficacy of CAT over DOG (this is precisely where KaTS shines), further highly effective methods remain available. For the ultimate push to the next level, RAT (Radical Awakening Technique) may also be considered, in which reflection is abandoned entirely in favor of pure, radical awakening.
If this all sounds suspiciously legitimate, the full clinical documentation, titled 'Komplett anderes Therapie System' is available on my Substack.
Inspired by a technique from the third wave of behavioral therapy centered on acceptance, I developed CAT (Cat Aversion Therapy), which helps patients suffering from FDD (Feline Deficiency Disorder) as well as the new DSM-6 personality disorders.
Progress is measured on a ten-point aversion scale, starting gently with a Garfield comic and escalating, for the truly resilient, to full sensory immersion at the predator house in Hellabrunn zoo. Younger clients respond particularly well to Simon's Cat, with peer-reviewed data showing a significant correlation between smile latency and prior cat-content consumption (for reference: British Feline Exposure Report 2023, Vol. IV: r = 0.73, p < 0.01; n = 7).
Should CAT (or, as I like to call it "mein Lebenswerk für die KaTS") fail to produce satisfactory results, a further course of treatment is recommended, beginning with DOG (Depth-Oriented Grounding) and followed by MOUSE (Mindful Observation Under Self-Evaluation). Although a four-stage study demonstrated the superior efficacy of CAT over DOG (this is precisely where KaTS shines), further highly effective methods remain available. For the ultimate push to the next level, RAT (Radical Awakening Technique) may also be considered, in which reflection is abandoned entirely in favor of pure, radical awakening.
A psych (who has blocked me) did refer to ‘harm identity disorder’ in a recent post regarding patients who dared to try and manage awful withdrawal symptoms themselves.
Like others, I panicked slightly, fearing these were real and panicked again at relating to some of the internet sensitivities!
I literally just woke up read the title of the first disorder and went into a slight state of panic thinking it was real i think i need more sleep
Hilarious!
Stop giving them ideas!!
Fear not! I hear that the sector is suffering from Professional Paralyzed by Process Disorder (PPPD), and every time real revisions for the DSM come up it’s met with a chorus of “let’s table this.” It’s probably terminal.
Oh my Gosh this is genius
That is a great compliment ❤️ Top quality! 🥰
They might laugh, but they damn sure will code it on that bill. LOL
Thank you for cracking me up. Loved this!
I’m delighted you enjoyed it. The writing was glorious fun, and we are living in such a target rich environment for satire right now I sometimes wonder who is pranking who!
Definitely tagging my husband who is an LPC!
@Michael Hicks read this 😂
🤣🤣🤣
I think that while your original idea may have had some basis in a modern trend to diagnose regular behaviours as mental illnesses out of a desire to find what is “wrong with you” has basis in reality, I do not think that you are by any means intelligent or qualified to speak on the matter. The way that this is structured screams to me that you used AI to write it. I feel as though it is most likely you are someone who does not understand mental health beyond a few buzzwords, and thinks that despite never having understood any classes above a ninth grade level, that you have some greater understanding. You come across as smug and irritating. Or rather, you have made and AI convey your smug and bigoted opinions in its usual cold and detached manner. You gave Chat GBT those buzzwords, a few tired jokes making fun of “woke” culture, skimmed it, chuckled, and copy pasted it into Substack in hopes of conning people into thinking you’re witty. Am I on the mark?
I think you just invented a new category for the article.
Being able to see past what is essentially bullying layered with false intellectualism is a mental disorder now, apparently. You heard it here, folks, but you didn’t hear it from me. I can explain to you why I’m certain this is firstly, AI, and secondly, wildly idiotic.
IT IS A HUMOUR COLUMN! Did you not get that?
I was trying to say it wasn’t funny. I literally said that this was the same few tired jokes poking fun at “woke” culture. It was an uninteresting, unintelligent form of humour based in the debasement of others.
It was poking fun at the Psych industry creating diseases out of normalp and sometimes not nice human behaviour.
It’s poking fun, very clearly, of people who overuse psych terms rather than the industry itself. Perhaps the industry is somewhat involved of the AI driven ramblings of this post, but in case you didn’t notice it also clearly took digs at trans people and people have legitimate mental health issues that have been sensationalised by the latest trends.
This is hilarious, but I have to be honest. I’m not sure if this is satire or not because of the current state of reality.
These can’t be real!
Beyond the pale!!!
Well maybe if they just gave Brie Larson that bionic arm already I wouldn't have had to resort to sewer duty...
Great read and very hilarious! I can't wait for my updated diagnosis. I hear they have one just for internet Harpies like me 👀
Inspired by a technique from the third wave of behavioral therapy centered on acceptance, I developed CAT (Cat Aversion Therapy), which helps patients suffering from FDD (Feline Deficiency Disorder) as well as the new DSM-6 personality disorders.
Progress is measured on a ten-point aversion scale, starting gently with a Garfield comic and escalating, for the truly resilient, to full sensory immersion at the predator house in Hellabrunn zoo. Younger clients respond particularly well to Simon's Cat, with peer-reviewed data showing a significant correlation between smile latency and prior cat-content consumption (for reference: British Feline Exposure Report 2023, Vol. IV: r = 0.73, p < 0.01; n = 7).
Should CAT (or, as I like to call it "mein Lebenswerk für die KaTS") fail to produce satisfactory results, a further course of treatment is recommended, beginning with DOG (Depth-Oriented Grounding) and followed by MOUSE (Mindful Observation Under Self-Evaluation). Although a four-stage study demonstrated the superior efficacy of CAT over DOG (this is precisely where KaTS shines), further highly effective methods remain available. For the ultimate push to the next level, RAT (Radical Awakening Technique) may also be considered, in which reflection is abandoned entirely in favor of pure, radical awakening.
If this all sounds suspiciously legitimate, the full clinical documentation, titled 'Komplett anderes Therapie System' is available on my Substack.
Inspired by a technique from the third wave of behavioral therapy centered on acceptance, I developed CAT (Cat Aversion Therapy), which helps patients suffering from FDD (Feline Deficiency Disorder) as well as the new DSM-6 personality disorders.
Progress is measured on a ten-point aversion scale, starting gently with a Garfield comic and escalating, for the truly resilient, to full sensory immersion at the predator house in Hellabrunn zoo. Younger clients respond particularly well to Simon's Cat, with peer-reviewed data showing a significant correlation between smile latency and prior cat-content consumption (for reference: British Feline Exposure Report 2023, Vol. IV: r = 0.73, p < 0.01; n = 7).
Should CAT (or, as I like to call it "mein Lebenswerk für die KaTS") fail to produce satisfactory results, a further course of treatment is recommended, beginning with DOG (Depth-Oriented Grounding) and followed by MOUSE (Mindful Observation Under Self-Evaluation). Although a four-stage study demonstrated the superior efficacy of CAT over DOG (this is precisely where KaTS shines), further highly effective methods remain available. For the ultimate push to the next level, RAT (Radical Awakening Technique) may also be considered, in which reflection is abandoned entirely in favor of pure, radical awakening.
If this all sounds suspiciously legitimate, the full clinical documentation, titled 'Komplett anderes Therapie System', is available here: https://substack.com/@karstenschneeberger/note/p-207568460?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=lw3hw
A psych (who has blocked me) did refer to ‘harm identity disorder’ in a recent post regarding patients who dared to try and manage awful withdrawal symptoms themselves.
Like others, I panicked slightly, fearing these were real and panicked again at relating to some of the internet sensitivities!
But it’s funny, thank you.