So You've Decided to Reshape a Profession
A handy code of ethics for the ideologically committed institution
Diogenes In Exile is reader-supported. Keep the lamp of truth burning by becoming a paying subscriber—or toss a few drachmas in the jar with a one-time or recurring donation. Cynics may live in barrels, but websites aren’t free!
In light of discovering how the NBCC has chosen to use its Code of Ethics as a lever to restrict what college a counselor can graduate from if they want to work across state lines, I thought it would be fun to see what other new uses we could find for a professional Code of Ethics!
Gone are the days when a Code of Ethics was about delinating ethical behavior. Now we too can reshape the world ethically, to be whatever we want it to be!
Coming soon to a profession near you:
The Code of Ethics for the Thoroughly Confused Professional!™
Preamble
In order to create a clear chain of plausable deniability, we the remaining group members and signatories, after running off the traitors with pitchforks and blow torches, do hereby adopt this Code of Ethics to satisfy all future questions of non-accountability and ideological purity! Because there can’t be too many gateways to keep the unwashed riff raff out, however we are defining that today.
This code applies to all professionals, educators, lawmakers and nearby innocent bystanders as we see fit. And we are only acknowledging conflicts of interest that make the other guys look bad.
Purpose of the Thoroughly Confused Professional Code of Ethics
Control the message with that sweet sweet ideology!
Eliminate Accountability, I swear it was that other guy!
Gatekeep
Obscure Our Agenda Until Resistance Would be Futile. There is no war in Ba Sing Se…
Ethical Principles
These core values, arranged in no particular order of importance, are intended to set forth the ideals to which all vetted licensed professionals with proper ID and fully approved credentials with post-nomial letters should aspire. We center our professional lives in these principles:
It’s our way or the highway!
We value the correct perspectives
Like all good families, there are some things we don’t mention
Accountability begins and ends with self-reflection
Good Intentions are all that matters
When in doubt follow the Code, Unless we say different, then follow us
The ends justifies the means
Ethical Standards
These ethical standards are relevant to all professional activities where responsibility is best to be avoided, clarity might create a paper trail, and you relish watching your enemies burn!
§1. Transparency: Members shall be fully transparent at all times. Should members choose to interpret that as going unclothed the committee will allow it as long as the member can say they don’t enjoy it with a straight face, or can effectively make a case that any maniacal laughter is due to nerves. Any records to the contrary will be immediately expunged, and advanced interpretations of this standard have already been processed by the office of revisionism.
§2. The Dignity Provision: Every person shall be treated with unconditional dignity. The committee will define dignity. Should the committee choose to re-define dignity, all dignity may be unconditionally suspended pending a dignity review.
§3. Mandatory Authenticity: Members are required to bring their whole, authentic selves to all professional spaces. Features of approved authentic selves can be found on page 12 of the handbook. The handbook can be found in the bottom file of the cabinet under the tab labeled “Comrade.” No appeals can be made to expand the features of approved authentic selves.
§4. The Sincere Apology Clause: Upon causing harm, members must issue a sincere, non-defensive, un-coached apology within 48 hours. No apologies will be accepted. Following the apology all traitor members will be remanded to the Ministry of Public Security for re-education.
§5. Conflicts of Interest: Members must disclose all conflicts of interest. The member in question is solely responsible for deciding when something is a conflict of interest. All decisions are final.
§6. Confidentiality: All member communications are strictly confidential unless elements of the conversation are determined verboten by the committee. If confidential member communications are found to be verboten by the committee, the conversation will be publicly posted on our website and the traitor member will be required to provide a Sincere Apology. See above.
§7. Wellbeing: The organization is committed to member wellbeing. Members experiencing distress caused by the organization's wellbeing initiatives are encouraged to further utilize the wellbeing resources provided by the organization. Should the wellbeing resources be deemed insufficient, the member will be directed to a Mandatory Authenticity review.
§12. Accountability: Leadership is accountable to all members. Members are accountable to leadership. The committee responsible for accountability is accountable to itself and has been found, upon review, to be doing an excellent job with no conflicts of interest.
§9. The Living Document Provision This Code of Ethics is a living document and may be revised at any time to reflect evolving values. Prior versions of this Code, under which you may have been operating in good faith, are null and void. All new code is retroactively binding.
§10. The Final Clause: By existing within a professional space governed by this Code, you have agreed to its terms. Questions may be directed to the Ethics Hotline. Now unmonitored!
With this complete Code of Ethics professionals are now prepared for all the challenging demands of workplace climates, and trauma exposure you could shake a stick at.
Speaking of sticks, make sure to pick up your state issued pitchforks and blow torches as you exit the door.
Housekeeping
I have missed writing satire. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it. It has also been a good while since I did a little catching up on what is happening in the home front. For the first time since I moved to Tennessee, I’m planting for consumption!
I’ve gotten myself mixed up in the world of historical herbs and vegetables, and that has me starting some Lovage from seed. I’ve also planted purslane, cardoon, and scallions. I expect some Good King Henry seeds to arrive tomorrow and over the weekend I’ll get more dirt and plant them.
This is all container gardening so I’m limited in how crazy I can go, but I’ve tried to pair tall plants, like the Cardoon with short plants like purslane so I get the most out of my space. If I manage to be able to grow enough to add to a good stew, or graze a salad’s worth while I read on a weekend afternoon, I will count my efforts a success.
Help Keep This Conversation Going!
Share this post on social media. It costs nothing but helps a lot.
Become a subscriber. Higher subscriber numbers would draw in guest writers and interesting folks for interviews.
Want more perks? Become a Paid Subscriber to get chatroom access and let’s talk about what else Diogenes In Exile can do.
Support from readers like you keeps this project alive!
Diogenes in Exile is reader-supported. If you find value in this work, please consider becoming a pledging/paid subscriber, donating to my GiveSendgo, or buying Thought Criminal merch. I’m putting everything on the line to bring this to you because I think it is just that important, but if you can, I need your help to keep this mission alive.
Already a Premium subscriber? Share your thoughts in the chat room.
About
Diogenes in Exile began after I returned to grad school to pursue a master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the University of Tennessee. What I found instead was a program saturated in Critical Theories ideology—where my Buddhist practice was treated as invalidating and where dissent from the prevailing orthodoxy was met with hostility. After witnessing how this ideology undermined both ethics and the foundations of good clinical practice, I made the difficult decision to walk away.
Since then, I’ve dedicated myself to exposing the ideological capture of psychology, higher education, and related institutions. My investigative writing has appeared in Real Clear Education, Heterodox STEM, Minding the Campus, The College Fix, and has been republished by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni. I also speak and consult on policy reform to help rebuild public trust in once-respected professions.
Occasionally, I’m accused of being funny.
When I’m not writing or digging into documents, you’ll find me in the garden, making art, walking my dog,
This could have been the replacement ethics code for almost all the mental health professions.
This is too accurate to be funny.
But I laughed anyway. Good job.